Get all 12 Lefspek releases available on Bandcamp.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Ticket To Chillzville, RetroSpek, Open Oak A Cappella, Open Oak Instrumentals, The Robot In Me, The Emotional Revolution Of Modern Man, Fool Dayz, Open Oak, and 4 more.
1. |
Intro (Poem)
01:21
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A mighty wind blew night and day.
It stole the Oak Tree’s leaves away.
Then snapped its boughs
and pulled its bark
until the Oak was tired and stark.
But still the Oak Tree held its ground
while other trees fell all around.
The weary wind gave up and spoke,
How can you still be standing Oak?”
The Oak Tree said, I know that you
can break each branch of mine in two,
carry every leaf away,
shake my limbs and make me sway.
But I have roots stretched in the earth,
growing stronger since my birth.
You’ll never touch them, for you see
they are the deepest part of me.
Until today, I wasn’t sure
of just how much I could endure.
But now I’ve found with thanks to you,
I’m stronger than I ever knew.
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2. |
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Well,
I got beats on everyday
Keep 'em on repeat play
Junkie for the funky
I just thump them in my brain
Getting strange looks
When it cooks
Cuz I'm wilin' on the train
Packed into public transit
I don't care I act the same
Music is my life
And this is how I live it
It always sets me free
I see no reason to inhibit
Every step I take
Is in line with the kick snare
Drumsticks I fake
Like I'm playing kits in thin air
Cross fade the cuts
In line for the bus
Just standing there
And spazz out my wrists
Like I just quit drugs and beer
Ain't no thugs in my ear
Although I got a screw face
I just heard a dirty sample
Show up in a new place
No body sits next to me
Afraid to catch what's vexing me
Probably saying I'm crazy
To whomever their texting tweets
I never notice
My tunes have me tuned out
My best friends are bumpin'
And I'm sending shouts out
So I'm sorry maybe
If this wayseems crazy scary
But all these body movements are involuntary
It just happens
Toe tappin'
Or rappin' lip sync
When the sound pounds
I move like every cell is linked
Head to the heavens
Chin to the chest
That's my spirit saying yes
When the sound sounds blessed
Head nod looks odd
But good god that sounds dope
Headphones in the zone every place I go (2x)
Yo I just missed my stop
Eyes closed while I body rock
Can't hear you calling me
On the street where I walk
You're like “Yo, Vinnie”
I'm like “Dee dum ditty”
Snub you like I'm famous
And you're known for something shitty
So pardon me
I can hardly be
In two places at one time
You're standing on the street
I'm trekking soundscapes in my mind
No offence is meant
This distration is intense
I might walk into a pole
Or like trip over a fence
My case is not unique
Any day of the week
You can spot the beat freaks
Bop their head, hands and feet
Each with their own flavour
And the way that they listen
If we were standing in a line
We'd probably look just like pistons
Life as a pedestrian
Free to feel the the bless and blend
Change my pace in the race
Depending on the bpm
City sounds quiet down
in my bubble down town
Car horns and sirens
Can easily be drowned
I tune it out
And tune in
With a strut and a grin
Cuz a free outdoor concert
Is about to begin
With me front and centre
No one else can enter
I put head to the heavens
Cuz it feels like I went there
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3. |
Endless Wordplay 81 BPM
04:33
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Endless Wordplay
In my head in the worst way
Alone in my room
Like a friendless birthday
But I'm still celebrating
while I'm creating my manuscript
Contemplating and debating
While I plan the trip
That I'll take you on
So that you wanna come back
To the place where my head space
Could be traced
To this track
Relics on that chilled vibe
Striving for dope
You can find us underground
Down under like ash mulch
I mash pulp
When I pepper paper with the pen
I've never been a half stepper
With the rhyme 'reppin' when
It's time to defend
I find my inner zen
Collect up all the chaos
Pull the weight off
What's within
I feel better when its said
I know I've been set free
I do these rhymes for the real
I do these rhymes for me
Not always at my best
That's why I test it on what Nur say
So Lefspek
Can connect
With his endless wordplay
Endless Wordplay
From Thursday to Thursday
Writing down the rhymes
As we shakin' off the work day
Try to scribe the vibe
That'll keep our tribe thirstay
Make 'em hit repeat on this beat
After the first play (2x)
Endless wordplay
Even in my power naps
Wake up and deliver some
Power raps
Hop hop scrabble
Actual words
Avoiding babble
Declarative sentences
Are the most common type
Within good reason
Using it right
Literary techniques
And forms
Creative ideas
write up a storm
Rhymes are hot
My papers' getting warm
Cross spires
Speed of light
Like circuit wise
Floating alphabits
Like crossfire
Mental gymnstics
Freeze out you vocab tactics
I'm not about owning a Lexus
Focus on grammatical meaning lexis
Relics hit the jive
Soulful archive
We bringin' it live
Lyrical fitness
Curing your sicknes
Many audience
Will witness
Our swiftness
Words surrounded in my head
All day my eyes turning red
From dawn until I gotta hit the bed
Endless Wordplay
From Thursday to Thursday
Writing down the rhymes
As we shakin' off the work day
Try to scribe the vibe
That'll keep our tribe thirstay
Make 'em hit repeat on this beat
After the first play (2x)
It's all been said
But in my head
It goes together
In another way
Connecting tetris
With the text
I'm always game to play
Cross eyed and tongue tied
As I try to make
Some sense of it
Toss tries
Like pop flies
When I
Think they're garbage sentences
Then eureka I hit the speaker
With the thing I think
Will treat ya
To a view of my mind
That's saying “nice ta meet ya”
I intend for you to know me
From the way that I flow these
Compose pros with passion
In a fashion
That's not phony
A lot of layers to peel
When I feel the finish far away
But the truth is there
And I don't care
How long it takes today
Put the puzzle pieces on the table
In the perfect way
So you can see the picture
That my minds' been trying to make
I never stop to wonder why
These words will never stop
I'm just sick with an illness
That is known as Hip Hop
I'm writin' down my life
'Till I'm wrinkled old and grey
Looking back at a lifetime
Of Endless Wordplay
Endless Wordplay
From Thursday to Thursday
Writing down the rhymes
As we shakin' off the work day
Try to scribe the vibe
That'll keep our tribe thirstay
Make 'em hit repeat on this beat
After the first play (4x)
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4. |
Daddy Hustle 85 BPM
05:13
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I wake up in the morning
At the break of dawn
Dirty diaper on the bed
And my toddlers' gone
I look to my lady and she's fast asleep
So I grab a dipe and wipe
And I start to creep
Yeah the kids fast
But Dad's a bit quicker
Got a bubba in my hand
Plus my fingers on the flicker
I can handle my biz
When it comes to my kids
I'm a thirty something poppa
Gotta hustle to live
Everyday, every hour
Every minute, every second
Gotta play, draw a flower
Be up in it butt checkin'
Straight balling with my crew
Out in the yard
Y'know we're all players
And we like to play hard
Poppin bottles of crys-stal
Clear water
Cuz hydration is a must
Yo c'mon kid you gotta
We do it big son
So no body is laggin'
I can fit three shorties
In my little tike's waggon
If there's something you need
My man you're in luck
Daddy hustler's back pack
Is like a free snack truck
But there's a code to the sweets
Gotta lock down the truffles
I'm the keeper of the treats
And I'm always on the hustle
The Daddy Hustle
Yeah y'know where I'm at
One's on my shoulders
The other's climbing on my back
The Daddy Hustle
Yeah y'know how I do
Grab my kid and pick him up
And sniff his butt for poo
The Daddy Hustle
Y'know I keep my game tight
Get'em up in the morning put'em down at night
The Daddy Hustle
I gotta big up my kids
I'm on that Big Daddy Hustle
Gotta Hustle to live
Vs 2
Rollin'
With my 3 point O
In a deluxe jogger stroller
Made by Graco
Bums leave me alone
And punks don't bug me
When I'm strollin' through my hood
Decked out in a snuggly
And when I ride the bus
They give up the seat next
Cuz nobody wanna see my crew get vexed
I see the other Daddy Hustlers
And I give them a nod
A salute to the honour
Of being chosen by God
Cuz when you rock the house
And they're all yes yall'n
You know in your heart
That there is no higher calling
I aint gonna lie man
It takes some grace
You gotta keep your cool
When they slap you in the face
Or kick you in the shins
Or punch you in the Hoo-hoo
Daddy Hustlers' got to go to his room now
To boo-hoo
I 'll be back in a sec
Just need some time to recover
but if it's more than ten minutes
Go get get your mother
I'm a Hustler baby
Y'know I don't don't stop
Gilligan sun hat
Khaki shorts, flip flops
Keep the cash handy
Pocket full of dimes
And tiny little toys
That my peeps leave behind
I'm the top dog
Commander and chief
At their beck and call
Every day of the week
Proud as a peacock
As I strut through the bustle
All the mommies say “Hi”
Cuz I'm on the Daddy Hustle
Chorus
If you aint on the hussle
Then you just don't know
Three, six, five
To the seven twenty four
That's the bid
That I live
What I got
I gotta give
Gotta be a proper Poppa
To raise a crop of kids
Ain't no sleep
On this beat
Even though the dreams sweet
I ain't changing up the dipes
Then I'm switching up the sheets
Picking up the bikes
And adjusting up the seats
Breaking up the fights
Playing justice of the peace
Freeze up the cuts with ice
Scraping muck out of the cleats
Feed 'em what they like
What they don't I just sneak
Cuz the will of a child is hard to defeat
Especially if they sense
That your discipline is weak
I keep 'em guessing
With the lessons that I'm stressin
When I teach
And tell 'em there's no tellin'
The levels they can reach
Life's full of obstacles
But none that can't be breached
I keep 'em in the game
Delivering the team speech
Dad and Mom hold it down
And keep it sound as a couple
Put the work into the Plan
Like we plan to build muscle
Love, sweat and tears
Sometimes we gotta tussle
You'll always find me here
Cuz I'm on that Daddy Hustle
Chorus
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5. |
Turn It Around 80 BPM
01:18
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I've made up my mind
I'm breaking the binds
I'm shaking the vine
For the sake of the blind
Awake any remind
Today to be kind
To those that behind
At the back of the line
Whats actually mine
Is hard to define
Because its a matter
Of space and of time
The clothes on my back
And food in my pack
Have all been given
So I can give back
I am your brother
The earth is our mother
To give to another
Is all that she ask
The circle of life
Is workable right
If we're in the light
And we stay on the path
If you do the math
You figure out fast
That we could have plenty
For people to last
What about water
What about gas
What about food
What about cash
What about war
What about class
What about trusting
All things pass
Make a new way
Make a new hope
Make a new world
That'll know how to cope
Can't change all
But you can change you
Love is for many
Hate is for few
Really wanna live
Then we really gotta give
Possessions to posses within
The power of self
And the power of freedom
The power of peace
In a world that needs some
Life moves quick
If you don't slow down
Put down the mirror
And take a look around
Love someone
And they love you
Then you already know how to see whats true
Take that person
Put'em in the place
Of a perfect stranger
An unknown face
See 'em pain
See 'em in sorrow
All alone
From today till tomorrow
Would you leave them
And just be passive
Or would you try to help them
Get past it
You wanna bet?
All regret
Without forgiveness
There would be none left
To take care of anyone
All been let down
It's starts with you
So turn it around
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6. |
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7. |
Change 94.5 BPM
05:28
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It's not easy to change
And it seems to me strange
That the choices that I make
Take me back to the same
Taxing my brain
As I try to make gains
But it's like groundhog day
And I'm stuck in the rain
I make plans I make goals
And man I got soul
But the doubt re-routes
And I'm on the couch
Hitting' bowls
Motivation gone
Slow to see whats wrong
Blaming outside sources
For what's really going on
Gotta stop all that
Like a pop bottle cap
I'll never hit the throttle
If I'm fizzled out and flat
But it's physical in fact
How I react
To the way I keep behaving even though I know the trap
It used to be fun
Now it's like a rerun
Marathon dusk till dawn
Wishing it would be done
Before even begun
I know the ending
Negative self talk
A precipice shelf walk
Eclipse my own wishes and live simply shell shocked
Post traumatic stress
Got me hiding from my best
Take the pain away
I'll take a rain check on the test
Of what's really testing me
Everyday is besting me
Counting all my blessing
Except the one that could be
Setting me
Free from the Deja vu
And send me on my way to what I want to see true
Cuz if it's really what I want
There's only one thing left to do
Change comes gradually
Pain keeps stabbin' me
Grabbin' at habits
To mask what's happened to me
With the truth in focus
I start to feel hopeless
I've always been fucked up
But it's tough now that I know this
Like a new framework
To tame the jerk
Who blamed a curse
For his worse decisions
Living with that in my brain hurt
Now that's the main work
To accept what I can change. Shirk
What I can't.
Dirt gets done
I'm the one that it all comes down to
Ground 2-1- 0
Heads Donnie Brasco
Life's Rob Diniro
Let down and betrayed
I try to let go of those days
As I start to sober up
I know I'm up against the rage
That I suppressed
Dealt with stress
By not feeling it
Weekends on X
To numb the next week I'm dealing with
And in my head its clear skies
But there really ain't no rainbows
The truth of who I am
Is just driving me insane bro
And I know it gets better
At least that's what they say
But it's one day at a time
So I guess I'll have to stay
Believing that it's gonna
Or just be a goner
Have my kids loose there father
To beer and marijuana
Like it really doesn't matter I'll keep it under the lid
And not truly be honest with what it mean to be my kid
An exact likeness, that's why I can't be like this
I hold tight to the mic
And I fight to write this
The old me is telling me
This way is wack
But I was forever failing
And that's a fucking fact
So before they're chucking me change
I'm changing back
To the youth who knew the truth
And was proof of how to act
Tap in to the power of love
In my hour of lack
Push my life forward
Try to not look back
In the past
I couldn't last
I needed help but couldn't ask
A month of cold turkey
Then I'd wake up trashed
And on went the cycle
Until I could barely write those
Words from my heart
Like every line was a typo
Not what was meant
Not a true intent
Just some fake persona
That I tried to invent
As if the real me had thoughts
That were stupid and lame
That little voice inside my head
Shouting guilt and shame
Trying to sound hard
Like that shit don't phase me
But I'm self medicating my pain
Nightly and daily
Coping to get by
Hoping I don't die
An angry lonely addict
Who never could and won't try
Kids scared to death of me
Wifey shedding tears
A guy who used to rhyme
But hadn't done it in years
That ain't no way to go out
I gotta get this flow out
I choose today sober
So I know I got no doubt
That I am what I am
And pull the curtains on the sham
Of acting like I don't understand the real plan
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8. |
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What's Up!
Lefspek is in your area
Watch out I got the mic
I might walk up and start to stare at ya
Try to look away but its hard cuz I'm aware of ya
I'm trying to get this crowd moving
Like mass hysteria
Getting old
And my body is gettin' hairier
So rock with me now people
The more the merrier
If you gotta play the wall
Get us all in a a snap shot
Or selfie that'll help me
Tell the world that rap rocks
Father of three
Probably got on plaid socks
Past my prime
Out after nine
I'm still looking for mad props
So hey, can I kick it?
What's the scenario
I'm the migidy mack daddy
What? Don't you know
I'm way past trying to compete with you pups
I've been doing rap for 30 years
And never blew up
So what
I don't care
I'm and artist it's my craft
I came to rock the house
And I came to rock the house
So you can love it
Or you can laugh
A lot of kids today
Don't even know where rap came from
And think that being positive
Is a way to sound plain dumb
I gotta bring it back
With some call and response
This old timer is on the rhyme
And I'm as cool as the Fonze
So What's hip hop?
Well this is what it sounds like
A wild MC, hype crowd and a live mic
Underground sound
From my town
That's what I like
When I say we love it
You all say “ You're damn right”
We love it
(Your damn right) 4x
What's Up?!
Lefspek up on the stage here
Rocking on the mic
Second night in the same year
Nothing remains the same
But my brain seems to stay weird
Grown b-boy
Reading glasses and a grey beard
Rhymes from a time
That will forever shine
Played our beats in the streets
And on the subway line
A hip hop show was never hard to find
Chopping cd's
Man always on the grind
Hungry MCs
Always down to drop it
Freestyle off the top
Just give us a topic
Leave room for the DJ
Breaks and the breakers
Graphitti Bombers
And the bomb beat makers
30 second hand shakers
Nobody's a faker
Show up at the spot
And you could be a partaker
I heard enough noobies
Straight fail at their rap
But for getting on the mic
They would get a pound back
That's Hip Hop
That's what it is
Hip Hop is people
It's not show biz
It's straight heart music
Make art, use it
This is what it sounds like
This is why I choose it
So What's hip hop?
Well this is what it sounds like
A wild MC, hype crowd and a live mic
Underground sound
From my town
That's what I like
When I say we love it
You all say “ You're damn right”
We love it
(Your damn right) 4x
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9. |
Organic 92.5 BPM
02:31
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Organic
From the earth man
The planet
Soul in the soil
In my hand the sand sits
Seed grows
Even though it's stranded
In a land with
Many hard rocks
But strong stalks make granite split
Fire light creates life
Despite what it damages
Like a vigil in the night
I fight to keep my candle lit
The truth is what I write
Whether you can
Or can't handle it
I'm organic for life
GMO CO
Wanna banish it
Home grown on the microphone
As free thought vanishes
Caught between to worlds
Of those who will and won't stand for this
Those who believe in short
Or long term advantages
Those who pray
Or live life like
Praying mantases
Dismantle the next man
Just to get their hands on his
I'm channeling the source
It's the force I'm standing in
Original origins
Of where our strands began
Organic organs course
With the blood of clans we're in
We're all connected
Through a collective breath
We're banded friend
Organic growth
Planned and planted
With love and hope
It's apparent my parents
Had a marriage with both
When I'm staring at the stars
The earth feels so close
Cuz the origins of life
Play out in so many hosts
Crop circles appear where
We grow the most
I feel it in my roots
As the truth starts to show
Rain falls to rivers
Ice forms the snow
Many elemental states
Create how the water flows
Quick in the summer
In the winter so slow
I'm a Canadian
With circadian schedule
The earth gave us birth
I put the dirt between my toes
Barry myself naked
To heal my mind body and soul
Going back to the mother
It's where we all go
When we lay pavement on the grass
And wear shoes with rubber sole
We lose connection with the blessings
That our Gia can bestow
Try to act artificial
Like we just don't know
Fill our face with tech
Smart phones and google
Two steps in the forest
And you can't ignore the tole
As your head heart and body
Break away from its control
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10. |
Rise Up 85 BPM
04:45
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I rise up
That's what I do
Wise up
To what is true
Today marks the day
That my art breaks through
I'm on the mend
I can't pretend
I don't have lots to do
Sometimes healing hurts
I use my words to push through
Spend an age
To fill the page
And emancipate the sage
Feel enlightened by my writin'
Taking flight out of my cage
Every words' a step
Every thoughts' a breath
I exhale my minds mail
And stamp it in the next text
Keep my thoughts critical
Express the lot literal
Read it back
To the track
That's just the typical
Process and recipe
For how I go and get free
See ten men
The one with the pen is me
Leave that phone alone
When I'm in the rhyme zone
I got the digits to my soul
And this beats' the dial tone
Conversation with myself
Transcribed just for you
I'm a case for mental health
When you catch a vibe that's true
So many people lyin' dude
Puts me in a cryin' mood
Seems nobody's safe
From becoming lion food
Blurred lines inside the news
It's hard to find a side to choose
Like when I'm in the liquor store
In line buyin' booze
Used to feel so convicted
With everything I said
Now my evidence is shaky
Like an earthquake in my head
A changing landscape
In a strange sand shape
This morality mirage
Makes this man hesitate
Cuz when you hate hate
It still don't feel great
I'm trying to love my world
Not slap it in the face
But I'm smack in the pack
I can't quit the human race
So I take my place
As an artist with no face
Just a voice in a genre
That makes great waste
They say they got the love
But it leaves a bad taste
There are some gold nuggets
And that's why I love it
So peace to the heads
Cuz we bout to
To rise above it
I make beats and I rhyme
At least when I got the time
3 kids and a wife
And for them I gotta grind
I don't mind
Cuz this kind
Of living is my craft
I'm captain of my ship
Even if it is a raft
Whatever floats your boat
It's the love that gives me hope
I do what I want
And to the rest I say nope
Lots of folks freakin'
Like we're on a precipice
That would be a scarey thought
If I thought there was just this
But I look at a flower
And see my higher power
Nobody knows the time
The day or the hour
Make music and just do it
There's no proper way
Forget about who's listening
And let my soul seize the day
Somebody's always gonna have
Something bad to say
But if I let that stop me
I'd never find my way
I keep an open mind
An open heart too
I'm trying to find the others
Even if only a few
A grown man in music
Raps an old hat
I'm skilled in the trade
Of that old boom bap
But if it works work it
I keep comin' up with verses
I'm gettin' more concise
With less need for the curses
Quick with the lip
Or slow with the flow
I let the beat set the pace
And let what's under wraps go
Expose my soul
That's the main goal
Tell the tale of my life
For those that want to know
There's just no question
Of it's relevance
My kids will tell of Vince
And can cross reference
The story with the choruses
Of what I invent
Who and what I am,
Is apparent in my intent
Multi level composition
Like it's my life's mission
But still only a part of my art
If you listen
It's more than the words
The sound, the meaning
It's a heart touched by God
That sends that darkness fleeing
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11. |
Try 85 BPM
05:49
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I wanna be a good man
I guess most men do
But sometimes something happens
And somebody else shows through
Some one who gets angry
And says things he doesn't mean
Mean muggin' loved ones
And making an ugly scene
Making my girl and kids cry
As my hurtful words fly
I love them all so much
So can somebody tell me why
I can't express myself properly
When the stress gets on top of me
I stand up and flip
Like a botched game of monopoly
And raise to a rage level
Holding hands with the Devil
Is how it feels
I can't let go
I can't settle
Then I storm off
Until the storms worn off
And go back home and witness
All the strips I've torn off
Like, what the hell just happened
Why couldn’t I avoid that
I'm so full of regret
I can't remember what
I was annoyed at
And when I'm calm
It seems clear it wasn't that bad
But I couldn't see past the mean mask
Of being mad
Full of apologies that are so hard to say
So confused at why I thought
I was right to act that way
Forgiveness is a blessing
And I know I've been blessed
To have the people that I love
Let me mop up my mess
But still I'm trying to stop
Cuz this just won't do
Like a bull in a china shop
To my closest few
It's true
I'm a creature of habit
And I've been this way a long time
But still I'm gonna take a stab at it
I know it's not my nature so it must be taught
So I sit with my therapist
And I tell her my thoughts
To dig in this heap
And figure out why
It seems like a lot of work
But I know I gotta try
As I expected
There was a connection
To the way that I was raised
And how displays of affection
Were compromised by rage
Dad's anger in silence
Keeping my anger a secrete
Bottled up emotion to ashamed
To try to speak it
Until he burst
And blurted out the worse
Curses meant to hurt
Grabbed me by my shirt
Made me feel like a piece of dirt
And he'd always say he was sorry
But continue the same story
That he lived in his own life
As a kid before me
Yelling at my Moms
Until he lost his voice
But that was his way to stay safe
That was his choice
He had a big heart
But his temper betrayed it and
It left me a mess
Because I loved him but was afraid of him
Now I'm left to not let that cycle repeat
Cuz I'll leave my boys with the same noise
If I except defeat
Cuz words that hurt
Once heard make them weaker
Will I be a loving father or an angry critical speaker
In their inner voice
It's my choice to be a positive part of that
And recognize that it's my life
That's going to teach them how to act
It's my piece to offer peace
In this brief time of life that's sweet
Make them feel safe in their beds
When they lay their heads to sleep
I got the best kids
Who deserve a better me
So I gotta chip away this old rock
Daily and steadily
Check some anger management
Before it gets ahead of me
Try some love and tenderness
And a genderless sense of empathy
Cuz boys need a soft touch too
They only act like they don't
Cuz they're trying to be you
And feel ashamed when they cry
Afraid of that angry guy
If you feel an itch in your eye
Ask yourself why
And just try
So I stand with my brothers
Sons of mothers
Protectors of sisters
And kissers of lovers
And accept responsibility
For how I affect another
And acknowledge that my actions
Are a reflection to others
Of what type of man I am
And if they can trust
Me with their heart
Without being repeatedly crushed
The process is new to me
And I hope to find unity
Between what's in my heart
And what my emotions do to me
And stop trying to control by fear
The relationships I need
The love seeds that grow near
Be a strong oak
That won't be broke by the breeze
But bend and sway too make way
For other people's needs
Take a minute to calm down
And consider my reactions
If I have have a strong position
Then why am I attacking?
And if I don't
Maybe there's questions
I should be asking
Like, what's really happening under the hood
Do I need to defend myself
Or be understood
Can I maybe listen without uttering a word
Can I diffuse the situation
If at least one side is heard
Can I respond to anxiety
With a simple hug
Can I admit that I'm not perfect
With a humble shrug
Is there a way to filter
The messages sent to me
so that I hear what's being said
Instead of pretending it's an enemy
I'm not saying it's an end to me
But it could be a start
To putting to rest
A whole mess of stress on my heart
Half of what I do
I just do and don't know why
I'm a work in progress
I know this I can't lie
But my loves you're all worth it
So you know I'm gonna... I'm gonna try
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12. |
Take A Look 85 BPM
03:21
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It's been eight months
Since you left this earth
And I haven't writ a stitch
Man this is the first
Attempt to try to scratch the surface
And I'm nervous to scribe
Cuz touching this hurt
Even when you were alive
Surprised
You survived
As long as you did
I was at your bedside
In twenty ten
But you lived
Love and hate
Guilt and grace
To sides of the same face
You were always on the run
I was always on the chase
I Thought I'd have more time to find you
Hug you and remind you
Take you for a drive
Try to loose the chains that bind you
Was it within my power?
No it was not
But I still fell ashamed
For how estranged our lives got
Love is what our life's for
For you it seemed more like war
Fightin' voices in the night
Peace was like a tight door
Hard to open
And I was hoping to see more
Of that laughing happy pappy
Trapped beneath the cold floor
Now you're in the stratus
And none of that matters
Me and my sisters are grateful
You and mom managed to have us
Our time together was destined
To only thirty nine years
I'll spend the next forty
Looking forward to when I appear
In the stars along side
For that extra long ride
And you can tell me what you found
Since the time you died
And man we're gonna laugh
As the planets pass by
Forget the past
And don't have to ask why
Right now I'm imagining
While you're actually travelling
Mysteries of the universe
Are continually unravelling
I'll do what I can
From this stationary place
And send my meditations
Out to meet out in space
If only for a second
A flash in the black
So you can see your son shining
If you ever look back
You were a father, a husband
A brother and son too
I am all these things
But I'm still not you
I would have liked to have had more time
To talk and to share
It's hard to compare our lives
When your just not there
I'm a compilation of complicated conversations
Floating through mind mind
At any time or given occasion
And like you, I feel caged in
When I start to let the rage in
This is my anger management
When I start to fill the page in
You had a horrific history
Most of its a mystery
Protecting me from you life
Was your life long gift to me
But how much of I
Escaped your eye
We passed up the time
And now the time's passed by
Just one more day is what I cried
The day that you died
Now I'm a lone man
With no man as a mentor
And three young boys
That I know that I was sent for
I take the best parts of me
And put them forward
I can only try to live right
And offer them more words
Of encouragement
Nourishment
For the soul
Whether five, ten, twenty
Or thirty years old
There was a magic in the air
When you were around
Your songs would touch my heart
I'd get lost in the sound
Creativity reigned
Now in my life its just the same
I believe its how its supposed to be
It's the world that's just strange
I got that from you
Watching everything you do
Redefine your whole existence
If you felt it was true
That's how I try to live my life
Walking in the light
Looking for the little things
That ignite my insight
I can see it through the wind rain and hail
My heart hears the music
My thoughts lift the veil
I can see you shining
Finally shook the soot
I send my intentions
To the heavens
So you can take a look
Take a look Dad
Take a look
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